What You Don't Know Can Kill You

....and boy do I know that first hand. 

Growing up I was steeped in religion like a tea bag in hot water making sweet tea. No matter what I did, I could never measure up to the "Good Christian" standard. Every goal I accomplished it seem that I still had 10 more to go. 

When I finally reached the age of 40, I had reached my limit. I was miserable. I weighed 260 lbs, I felt horrible, I was angry and depressed. I felt desperate and hopeless. All religion had left me with was looking forward to the day the rapture took place and took me out of my misery. I used to tell people that the Bible says to love others as you do yourself. I said I do,  I hate others as bad as I hate myself.

             Wow! 

It still stings just thinking about that now. It's amazing how badly I wanted to die. I wasn't suicidal, I just wanted all the pain I was in to end.  

I remember I was talking to the Lord and this was my prayer. 

"God I hate my life. I don't want to ...